I'm smack dab in the middle of watching a great movie called "The Switch." It stars Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman. "Cassie" and "Wallie" are BFFs in their mid-30's who have gone past the dating scene and into the friends' stage. Of course Wallie is in love with Cassie but she has no idea (I'm so sure!) and neither does he. Blah blah blah...she finds a donor, throws a party, gets the turkey baster, and out pops Sabastian.
I was for sure this would be another J-Lo type flop (read post on other movie I wrote about but was so bad I can't remember at this point!) but a very special scene proved a production of tears and another layer of perspective pealed away on my nallipara journey. Sabastian (the son) collects picture frames but does so for the stock pictures that come with the frames. Odd? Yes! Touching. Yes! Once the story is revealed...
Sabastian collects the frames to tell the "story" of his family tree. He doesn't know who his dad is so he uses the pictures to fill in the blanks. His mother has told him that she couldn't wait for him to come so he found a very special person that would give her some seeds so she could plant him in her belly. Cute story to us adults but a tough pill to swallow for a kid who sees loving families all around him and wonders where the other half of his has gone.
How much of our pursuit of children is selfish? My answer: approx. 87% of it. We were not all promised children (If we were, please attach said document in the comments section). This scene showed me some possible repercussions of our "Pursuit of Happiness" in bearing children.
I will remind you that I am smack dab in the middle of this movie (and I'm about to start another cycle..wink, wink) so my emotions are running a bit on the high side. I did, however, think to myself that I should try to write as much as possible during these raw moments to see if any good can come of it. I think so!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
15 Things to do Before you have kids
1. Go on a wine tasting tour at a vineyard.
2. Go skydiving/bungee jumping/swimming with sharks...or whatever other crazy thing life-risking thing you've got on your bucket list.
3. Make a list of all the restaurants and bars you've been meaning to check out- and go!
4. Appreciate the bathroom-alone.
5. Stop being so self-righteous.
6. Take a road trip.
7. Be spontaneous.
8. Spend an entire day in bed together watching movies.
9. Have boozy lunches with friends.
10. Feed your minimalist side. (white chair/red wine)
11. Have morning sex.
12. Be the last ones to leave the party.
13. Fly first class.
14. Wear as much silk, cashmere, dry-clean only clothing as you possibly can, while you still can.
15. Take a career risk.
Erin Zammett Ruddy offers these "fine" tips on theknot.com for all the nulliparas out there dreaming of having children. I was actually excited when I got the email linking me to the article. I was thinking this would be a great opportunity to do one of the things I LOVE to do...check things off a ToDo list. It seemed like another opportunity to look on the bright side of things. The first few seemed lighthearted and doable (although I don't really have a desire to do anything crazy or life-risking). But as the list went on I grew more and more angry with its wordsmith. She no longer seemed to be giving a fun ToDo list for us pre-baby folk. She was mocking me. "Stop being self-righteous" "Appreciate the bathroom-alone" "Have morning sex" This article was not an opportunity to help moms-to-be appreciate this special time before children. It was a way for her to vent some of the frustrations of motherhood. Wow! Pretty insensitive, if you ask me. There are a few things I'd like to tell her and some other moms (not all of them, of course) to reveal my observations of "the other side."
I thank you Mrs. Ruddy (I assume you are married with your infinite knowledge on all things pre-birth!) You have inspired me to create a list of my own.
15 things to do AFTER you have kids.
I will use my experience with the AMAZING moms I am privileged to call friends as well as the numerous encounters with less than desirable parenting I've been able to observe (for my own notes, not for self-righteous critique!) The list is forthcoming and will be posted upon completion. Please feel free to post suggestions to be added to the list!
2. Go skydiving/bungee jumping/swimming with sharks...or whatever other crazy thing life-risking thing you've got on your bucket list.
3. Make a list of all the restaurants and bars you've been meaning to check out- and go!
4. Appreciate the bathroom-alone.
5. Stop being so self-righteous.
6. Take a road trip.
7. Be spontaneous.
8. Spend an entire day in bed together watching movies.
9. Have boozy lunches with friends.
10. Feed your minimalist side. (white chair/red wine)
11. Have morning sex.
12. Be the last ones to leave the party.
13. Fly first class.
14. Wear as much silk, cashmere, dry-clean only clothing as you possibly can, while you still can.
15. Take a career risk.
Erin Zammett Ruddy offers these "fine" tips on theknot.com for all the nulliparas out there dreaming of having children. I was actually excited when I got the email linking me to the article. I was thinking this would be a great opportunity to do one of the things I LOVE to do...check things off a ToDo list. It seemed like another opportunity to look on the bright side of things. The first few seemed lighthearted and doable (although I don't really have a desire to do anything crazy or life-risking). But as the list went on I grew more and more angry with its wordsmith. She no longer seemed to be giving a fun ToDo list for us pre-baby folk. She was mocking me. "Stop being self-righteous" "Appreciate the bathroom-alone" "Have morning sex" This article was not an opportunity to help moms-to-be appreciate this special time before children. It was a way for her to vent some of the frustrations of motherhood. Wow! Pretty insensitive, if you ask me. There are a few things I'd like to tell her and some other moms (not all of them, of course) to reveal my observations of "the other side."
I thank you Mrs. Ruddy (I assume you are married with your infinite knowledge on all things pre-birth!) You have inspired me to create a list of my own.
15 things to do AFTER you have kids.
I will use my experience with the AMAZING moms I am privileged to call friends as well as the numerous encounters with less than desirable parenting I've been able to observe (for my own notes, not for self-righteous critique!) The list is forthcoming and will be posted upon completion. Please feel free to post suggestions to be added to the list!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
49
Percentage of pregnancies in the United States that are unintended. Source: Guttmacher Institute
The whistle blows informing me that the water for my Liver Cleanse Flushing Tea is ready. It is one of the steps in the Fertility Cleanse I am doing over the next 30 days. A natural way to rid your liver and uterus of toxins, I figure it can at least be beneficial to me and at most helpful with conception. No pressure; just health.
With the cleanse in mind it was hard for me to believe the statistic that was on the pages of April's Women's Health. Knowing how scientifically difficult it is to get pregnant it's hard for me to believe that almost half of the kiddos being born are unintended. (Key word is unintended...not unwanted!)
More and more I'm realizing that science has very little to do with this process. Some scientific facts are important to understand and keep in mind like proper nutrition and alcohol consumption; overall maintenance of your baby's "home." However, even that shines a light on the Lord's beautiful grace and understanding. He made all of it and science is just critiquing his masterpiece.
So onward I go on the path I have been given. I believe God knows I need to be in the 51% because I don't do well with surprises. (I'd like to think I'm spontaneous but that would just be wishful thinking.) Although He doesn't need to, the Lord continues to reveal His plan for me. Praying I will keep my eyes open and not miss anything!
The whistle blows informing me that the water for my Liver Cleanse Flushing Tea is ready. It is one of the steps in the Fertility Cleanse I am doing over the next 30 days. A natural way to rid your liver and uterus of toxins, I figure it can at least be beneficial to me and at most helpful with conception. No pressure; just health.
With the cleanse in mind it was hard for me to believe the statistic that was on the pages of April's Women's Health. Knowing how scientifically difficult it is to get pregnant it's hard for me to believe that almost half of the kiddos being born are unintended. (Key word is unintended...not unwanted!)
More and more I'm realizing that science has very little to do with this process. Some scientific facts are important to understand and keep in mind like proper nutrition and alcohol consumption; overall maintenance of your baby's "home." However, even that shines a light on the Lord's beautiful grace and understanding. He made all of it and science is just critiquing his masterpiece.
So onward I go on the path I have been given. I believe God knows I need to be in the 51% because I don't do well with surprises. (I'd like to think I'm spontaneous but that would just be wishful thinking.) Although He doesn't need to, the Lord continues to reveal His plan for me. Praying I will keep my eyes open and not miss anything!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Practice makes perfect
I was told the other day that there is a 'secret' amongst writers on how to become a good writer...Write every day! You don't have to wait for something amazingly spectacular to come up to write about. Just the practice of getting your thoughts out there will eventually produce the good stuff.
Why didn't I think of that? Perhaps its my perfectionist mind that got in the way. I needed to be thinking more like a child, in the days when there was no wrong or right when it came to creativity. The days when it was all good as long as you tried.
So try is what I will do. I am committing to writing every day for the next two weeks. I thought about making it 30 days but I want to set myself up for success. Plus, I know if I make it those two weeks it'll pretty much be locked down as a habit. Heeeere we go... I'm excited!
Why didn't I think of that? Perhaps its my perfectionist mind that got in the way. I needed to be thinking more like a child, in the days when there was no wrong or right when it came to creativity. The days when it was all good as long as you tried.
So try is what I will do. I am committing to writing every day for the next two weeks. I thought about making it 30 days but I want to set myself up for success. Plus, I know if I make it those two weeks it'll pretty much be locked down as a habit. Heeeere we go... I'm excited!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Fertility Focus Telesummit
I will be watching and participating in some of these webinars. I thought it best to just copy/paste....
I've just heard about an amazing f'ree online event where 12 fertility experts
will be speaking about all kinds of fertility issues and solutions. I've signed up
to listen in and thought you may be interested too. It starts on March 21st which
is Monday! www.fertilityfocustelesummit.com
You should check it out!
I've just heard about an amazing f'ree online event where 12 fertility experts
will be speaking about all kinds of fertility issues and solutions. I've signed up
to listen in and thought you may be interested too. It starts on March 21st which
is Monday! www.fertilityfocustelesummit.com
You should check it out!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
PETER
Wow! I wonder if some people think about how hard it will be and what they're going to do once they become parents.
"Peter, stop!" How many times have I heard this in the coffee shop this morning? I have watched Peter cry, scream, spit on the floor, hit his mom, and run out the front door and down the sidewalk.
Now I know what any mom is going to say to me. "Wait 'til you have kids!" I know. I can't wait! But while I am I have begun to ponder what I will do. Parenting does not begin when the baby pops out of a pushy mama. Anyone who frowns at a smoking pregnant mama or gawks at a preggo cocktail knows that parenting happens well before the due date.
I would argue, however, that parenting begins even before the pee test. The responsibility of a child is one of life's greatest endeavors and I dare say many Americans take on this conquest without much more thought than what color the nursery will be or what sports records he/she might break in high school.
If you decide to start parenting at birth you will have already missed several months, if not years, of parenting opportunities.
I am thankful for this chance to slow down and take time to "perfect my parenting skills" before the dry run is over and the real deal is upon us. I am working on making regular exercise a consistent habit in my life. I have begun cooking healthy meals at home which rival any local eateries' menu selections. I am reading more and spending more time getting to know my Father. I'm nurturing the most important relationship in my household: my marriage. Let the parenting fun begin! I'm sure, looking back, these will be some of the best times of my life as a parent.
"Peter, stop!" How many times have I heard this in the coffee shop this morning? I have watched Peter cry, scream, spit on the floor, hit his mom, and run out the front door and down the sidewalk.
Now I know what any mom is going to say to me. "Wait 'til you have kids!" I know. I can't wait! But while I am I have begun to ponder what I will do. Parenting does not begin when the baby pops out of a pushy mama. Anyone who frowns at a smoking pregnant mama or gawks at a preggo cocktail knows that parenting happens well before the due date.
I would argue, however, that parenting begins even before the pee test. The responsibility of a child is one of life's greatest endeavors and I dare say many Americans take on this conquest without much more thought than what color the nursery will be or what sports records he/she might break in high school.
If you decide to start parenting at birth you will have already missed several months, if not years, of parenting opportunities.
I am thankful for this chance to slow down and take time to "perfect my parenting skills" before the dry run is over and the real deal is upon us. I am working on making regular exercise a consistent habit in my life. I have begun cooking healthy meals at home which rival any local eateries' menu selections. I am reading more and spending more time getting to know my Father. I'm nurturing the most important relationship in my household: my marriage. Let the parenting fun begin! I'm sure, looking back, these will be some of the best times of my life as a parent.
Friday, February 18, 2011
...better than I know myself
"When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, "If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt (where they had been enslaved for 430 years!)." So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. The Israelites went up out of Egypt armed for battle." Exodus 13:17-18
I find the last sentence of this passage amusing. The Israelites are pumped on their recent "victory" against the Egyptians and they're ready to keep it going. They're armed and ready 'cause no one messes with God's peeps!' Did you see what happened to the firstborns in Egypt? Fa' get about it!
The Israelites leave Egypt thinking they're really something. And on one hand they are; they're God's chosen people. But the reality is that their God knows them better then they know themselves. He knows this 'battle' they're armed for would send them running back into the arms of their oppressor if they were to encounter it 'on the road through the Philistine country' (v. 17). God doesn't tell them this (who could handle hearing that ugly truth?) but instead gently leads them in a different direction.
I'm so glad my God knows me like this. Despite my tough attitude and controlling nature he leads me on roads that will draw me closer to him and not send me back to a place of oppression and enslavement. Glad to be loved like this!
I find the last sentence of this passage amusing. The Israelites are pumped on their recent "victory" against the Egyptians and they're ready to keep it going. They're armed and ready 'cause no one messes with God's peeps!' Did you see what happened to the firstborns in Egypt? Fa' get about it!
The Israelites leave Egypt thinking they're really something. And on one hand they are; they're God's chosen people. But the reality is that their God knows them better then they know themselves. He knows this 'battle' they're armed for would send them running back into the arms of their oppressor if they were to encounter it 'on the road through the Philistine country' (v. 17). God doesn't tell them this (who could handle hearing that ugly truth?) but instead gently leads them in a different direction.
I'm so glad my God knows me like this. Despite my tough attitude and controlling nature he leads me on roads that will draw me closer to him and not send me back to a place of oppression and enslavement. Glad to be loved like this!
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