Thursday, April 7, 2011

15 Things to do Before you have kids

1. Go on a wine tasting tour at a vineyard.
2. Go skydiving/bungee jumping/swimming with sharks...or whatever other crazy thing life-risking thing you've got on your bucket list.
3. Make a list of all the restaurants and bars you've been meaning to check out- and go!
4. Appreciate the bathroom-alone.
5. Stop being so self-righteous.
6. Take a road trip.
7. Be spontaneous.
8. Spend an entire day in bed together watching movies.
9. Have boozy lunches with friends.
10. Feed your minimalist side. (white chair/red wine)
11. Have morning sex.
12. Be the last ones to leave the party.
13. Fly first class.
14. Wear as much silk, cashmere, dry-clean only clothing as you possibly can, while you still can.
15. Take a career risk.

Erin Zammett Ruddy offers these "fine" tips on theknot.com for all the nulliparas out there dreaming of having children. I was actually excited when I got the email linking me to the article. I was thinking this would be a great opportunity to do one of the things I LOVE to do...check things off a ToDo list. It seemed like another opportunity to look on the bright side of things. The first few seemed lighthearted and doable (although I don't really have a desire to do anything crazy or life-risking). But as the list went on I grew more and more angry with its wordsmith. She no longer seemed to be giving a fun ToDo list for us pre-baby folk. She was mocking me. "Stop being self-righteous" "Appreciate the bathroom-alone" "Have morning sex" This article was not an opportunity to help moms-to-be appreciate this special time before children. It was a way for her to vent some of the frustrations of motherhood. Wow! Pretty insensitive, if you ask me. There are a few things I'd like to tell her and some other moms (not all of them, of course) to reveal my observations of "the other side."

I thank you Mrs. Ruddy (I assume you are married with your infinite knowledge on all things pre-birth!) You have inspired me to create a list of my own.
15 things to do AFTER you have kids.
I will use my experience with the AMAZING moms I am privileged to call friends as well as the numerous encounters with less than desirable parenting I've been able to observe (for my own notes, not for self-righteous critique!) The list is forthcoming and will be posted upon completion. Please feel free to post suggestions to be added to the list!

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