Anointed and Disappointed

I took this title directly from the pages of the study I'm doing with Priscilla Shirer. Mine as well since it describes how I sometimes feel during this waiting time.
I have started this blog through the prompting of the Spirit reminding me that I am an anointed daughter of the king. I began this journey of blogging my experience in the time leading up to having children with the confidence that I have been chosen to do a good work for the Lord's people. Great. Awesome. Pumped up about that. But....I also need to be honest about all of it. I know the Lord is good and sovereign and wants what's best for his people (Rom. 8:28) but I also know that I have an idea of how things are "supposed" to be and I sometimes find myself disappointed that things haven't turned out exactly as I planned.
I'm not alone.
"I've always wanted children, but the doctor says that I will not be able to. Although I know God can override the doctor's prognosis, I don't know if I can live with my reality in the chance that He chooses not to." -Ebony, 31.
It's no surprise to me that this confession was found in the pages of the study I'm doing or that her age is the same as mine. I have not heard such news from the doctors but this is a fear that lumes in the darkness. What if? Could I handle that? Am I manifesting that by thinking these thoughts? Disappointment. Frustration. Fear. Which one of these are from the Lord? None!
As I read on, my confidence in Him grew. I was reminded to have faith in God's promises despite circumstances. This next statement my seem pretty bold and I will continue to test it against the Spirit but I believe that my husband and I have been chosen and anointed to have children. My man has an incredible fatherly spirit about him and I have always been drawn to children. Because of this I will stand firm on the promise of children. I will continue to pray and walk in this until the beautiful babies come or the Lord reveals a different vision.
The Lord is good and continues to amaze me. The more I tap in the more he reveals. Listen to the words of Priscilla as she speaks of a life removed from what we expected:
"He has anointed you and divinely equipped you to not merely handle it but to thrive in it. He may want to adjust your life and character in smaller assignments to prepare you for the larger ones."
How exciting! I believe my child (or children) is going to do something magnificent for the Lord's people. I am therefore taking this time to prepare a place, both within me and around me, to nurture that and maximize his/her opportunities to grow in his/her anointing.
Lord, help me commit my whole life to you. I don't want to become frustrated or disappointed in the seasons of waiting that you might allow me to go through. Allow my spiritual eyes to clearly see your hand in every aspect of each season. Empower me with patience and faithfulness by your Spirit to do what you have called me to do.