I'm smack dab in the middle of watching a great movie called "The Switch." It stars Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman. "Cassie" and "Wallie" are BFFs in their mid-30's who have gone past the dating scene and into the friends' stage. Of course Wallie is in love with Cassie but she has no idea (I'm so sure!) and neither does he. Blah blah blah...she finds a donor, throws a party, gets the turkey baster, and out pops Sabastian.
I was for sure this would be another J-Lo type flop (read post on other movie I wrote about but was so bad I can't remember at this point!) but a very special scene proved a production of tears and another layer of perspective pealed away on my nallipara journey. Sabastian (the son) collects picture frames but does so for the stock pictures that come with the frames. Odd? Yes! Touching. Yes! Once the story is revealed...
Sabastian collects the frames to tell the "story" of his family tree. He doesn't know who his dad is so he uses the pictures to fill in the blanks. His mother has told him that she couldn't wait for him to come so he found a very special person that would give her some seeds so she could plant him in her belly. Cute story to us adults but a tough pill to swallow for a kid who sees loving families all around him and wonders where the other half of his has gone.
How much of our pursuit of children is selfish? My answer: approx. 87% of it. We were not all promised children (If we were, please attach said document in the comments section). This scene showed me some possible repercussions of our "Pursuit of Happiness" in bearing children.
I will remind you that I am smack dab in the middle of this movie (and I'm about to start another cycle..wink, wink) so my emotions are running a bit on the high side. I did, however, think to myself that I should try to write as much as possible during these raw moments to see if any good can come of it. I think so!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
15 Things to do Before you have kids
1. Go on a wine tasting tour at a vineyard.
2. Go skydiving/bungee jumping/swimming with sharks...or whatever other crazy thing life-risking thing you've got on your bucket list.
3. Make a list of all the restaurants and bars you've been meaning to check out- and go!
4. Appreciate the bathroom-alone.
5. Stop being so self-righteous.
6. Take a road trip.
7. Be spontaneous.
8. Spend an entire day in bed together watching movies.
9. Have boozy lunches with friends.
10. Feed your minimalist side. (white chair/red wine)
11. Have morning sex.
12. Be the last ones to leave the party.
13. Fly first class.
14. Wear as much silk, cashmere, dry-clean only clothing as you possibly can, while you still can.
15. Take a career risk.
Erin Zammett Ruddy offers these "fine" tips on theknot.com for all the nulliparas out there dreaming of having children. I was actually excited when I got the email linking me to the article. I was thinking this would be a great opportunity to do one of the things I LOVE to do...check things off a ToDo list. It seemed like another opportunity to look on the bright side of things. The first few seemed lighthearted and doable (although I don't really have a desire to do anything crazy or life-risking). But as the list went on I grew more and more angry with its wordsmith. She no longer seemed to be giving a fun ToDo list for us pre-baby folk. She was mocking me. "Stop being self-righteous" "Appreciate the bathroom-alone" "Have morning sex" This article was not an opportunity to help moms-to-be appreciate this special time before children. It was a way for her to vent some of the frustrations of motherhood. Wow! Pretty insensitive, if you ask me. There are a few things I'd like to tell her and some other moms (not all of them, of course) to reveal my observations of "the other side."
I thank you Mrs. Ruddy (I assume you are married with your infinite knowledge on all things pre-birth!) You have inspired me to create a list of my own.
15 things to do AFTER you have kids.
I will use my experience with the AMAZING moms I am privileged to call friends as well as the numerous encounters with less than desirable parenting I've been able to observe (for my own notes, not for self-righteous critique!) The list is forthcoming and will be posted upon completion. Please feel free to post suggestions to be added to the list!
2. Go skydiving/bungee jumping/swimming with sharks...or whatever other crazy thing life-risking thing you've got on your bucket list.
3. Make a list of all the restaurants and bars you've been meaning to check out- and go!
4. Appreciate the bathroom-alone.
5. Stop being so self-righteous.
6. Take a road trip.
7. Be spontaneous.
8. Spend an entire day in bed together watching movies.
9. Have boozy lunches with friends.
10. Feed your minimalist side. (white chair/red wine)
11. Have morning sex.
12. Be the last ones to leave the party.
13. Fly first class.
14. Wear as much silk, cashmere, dry-clean only clothing as you possibly can, while you still can.
15. Take a career risk.
Erin Zammett Ruddy offers these "fine" tips on theknot.com for all the nulliparas out there dreaming of having children. I was actually excited when I got the email linking me to the article. I was thinking this would be a great opportunity to do one of the things I LOVE to do...check things off a ToDo list. It seemed like another opportunity to look on the bright side of things. The first few seemed lighthearted and doable (although I don't really have a desire to do anything crazy or life-risking). But as the list went on I grew more and more angry with its wordsmith. She no longer seemed to be giving a fun ToDo list for us pre-baby folk. She was mocking me. "Stop being self-righteous" "Appreciate the bathroom-alone" "Have morning sex" This article was not an opportunity to help moms-to-be appreciate this special time before children. It was a way for her to vent some of the frustrations of motherhood. Wow! Pretty insensitive, if you ask me. There are a few things I'd like to tell her and some other moms (not all of them, of course) to reveal my observations of "the other side."
I thank you Mrs. Ruddy (I assume you are married with your infinite knowledge on all things pre-birth!) You have inspired me to create a list of my own.
15 things to do AFTER you have kids.
I will use my experience with the AMAZING moms I am privileged to call friends as well as the numerous encounters with less than desirable parenting I've been able to observe (for my own notes, not for self-righteous critique!) The list is forthcoming and will be posted upon completion. Please feel free to post suggestions to be added to the list!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
49
Percentage of pregnancies in the United States that are unintended. Source: Guttmacher Institute
The whistle blows informing me that the water for my Liver Cleanse Flushing Tea is ready. It is one of the steps in the Fertility Cleanse I am doing over the next 30 days. A natural way to rid your liver and uterus of toxins, I figure it can at least be beneficial to me and at most helpful with conception. No pressure; just health.
With the cleanse in mind it was hard for me to believe the statistic that was on the pages of April's Women's Health. Knowing how scientifically difficult it is to get pregnant it's hard for me to believe that almost half of the kiddos being born are unintended. (Key word is unintended...not unwanted!)
More and more I'm realizing that science has very little to do with this process. Some scientific facts are important to understand and keep in mind like proper nutrition and alcohol consumption; overall maintenance of your baby's "home." However, even that shines a light on the Lord's beautiful grace and understanding. He made all of it and science is just critiquing his masterpiece.
So onward I go on the path I have been given. I believe God knows I need to be in the 51% because I don't do well with surprises. (I'd like to think I'm spontaneous but that would just be wishful thinking.) Although He doesn't need to, the Lord continues to reveal His plan for me. Praying I will keep my eyes open and not miss anything!
The whistle blows informing me that the water for my Liver Cleanse Flushing Tea is ready. It is one of the steps in the Fertility Cleanse I am doing over the next 30 days. A natural way to rid your liver and uterus of toxins, I figure it can at least be beneficial to me and at most helpful with conception. No pressure; just health.
With the cleanse in mind it was hard for me to believe the statistic that was on the pages of April's Women's Health. Knowing how scientifically difficult it is to get pregnant it's hard for me to believe that almost half of the kiddos being born are unintended. (Key word is unintended...not unwanted!)
More and more I'm realizing that science has very little to do with this process. Some scientific facts are important to understand and keep in mind like proper nutrition and alcohol consumption; overall maintenance of your baby's "home." However, even that shines a light on the Lord's beautiful grace and understanding. He made all of it and science is just critiquing his masterpiece.
So onward I go on the path I have been given. I believe God knows I need to be in the 51% because I don't do well with surprises. (I'd like to think I'm spontaneous but that would just be wishful thinking.) Although He doesn't need to, the Lord continues to reveal His plan for me. Praying I will keep my eyes open and not miss anything!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Practice makes perfect
I was told the other day that there is a 'secret' amongst writers on how to become a good writer...Write every day! You don't have to wait for something amazingly spectacular to come up to write about. Just the practice of getting your thoughts out there will eventually produce the good stuff.
Why didn't I think of that? Perhaps its my perfectionist mind that got in the way. I needed to be thinking more like a child, in the days when there was no wrong or right when it came to creativity. The days when it was all good as long as you tried.
So try is what I will do. I am committing to writing every day for the next two weeks. I thought about making it 30 days but I want to set myself up for success. Plus, I know if I make it those two weeks it'll pretty much be locked down as a habit. Heeeere we go... I'm excited!
Why didn't I think of that? Perhaps its my perfectionist mind that got in the way. I needed to be thinking more like a child, in the days when there was no wrong or right when it came to creativity. The days when it was all good as long as you tried.
So try is what I will do. I am committing to writing every day for the next two weeks. I thought about making it 30 days but I want to set myself up for success. Plus, I know if I make it those two weeks it'll pretty much be locked down as a habit. Heeeere we go... I'm excited!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Fertility Focus Telesummit
I will be watching and participating in some of these webinars. I thought it best to just copy/paste....
I've just heard about an amazing f'ree online event where 12 fertility experts
will be speaking about all kinds of fertility issues and solutions. I've signed up
to listen in and thought you may be interested too. It starts on March 21st which
is Monday! www.fertilityfocustelesummit.com
You should check it out!
I've just heard about an amazing f'ree online event where 12 fertility experts
will be speaking about all kinds of fertility issues and solutions. I've signed up
to listen in and thought you may be interested too. It starts on March 21st which
is Monday! www.fertilityfocustelesummit.com
You should check it out!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
PETER
Wow! I wonder if some people think about how hard it will be and what they're going to do once they become parents.
"Peter, stop!" How many times have I heard this in the coffee shop this morning? I have watched Peter cry, scream, spit on the floor, hit his mom, and run out the front door and down the sidewalk.
Now I know what any mom is going to say to me. "Wait 'til you have kids!" I know. I can't wait! But while I am I have begun to ponder what I will do. Parenting does not begin when the baby pops out of a pushy mama. Anyone who frowns at a smoking pregnant mama or gawks at a preggo cocktail knows that parenting happens well before the due date.
I would argue, however, that parenting begins even before the pee test. The responsibility of a child is one of life's greatest endeavors and I dare say many Americans take on this conquest without much more thought than what color the nursery will be or what sports records he/she might break in high school.
If you decide to start parenting at birth you will have already missed several months, if not years, of parenting opportunities.
I am thankful for this chance to slow down and take time to "perfect my parenting skills" before the dry run is over and the real deal is upon us. I am working on making regular exercise a consistent habit in my life. I have begun cooking healthy meals at home which rival any local eateries' menu selections. I am reading more and spending more time getting to know my Father. I'm nurturing the most important relationship in my household: my marriage. Let the parenting fun begin! I'm sure, looking back, these will be some of the best times of my life as a parent.
"Peter, stop!" How many times have I heard this in the coffee shop this morning? I have watched Peter cry, scream, spit on the floor, hit his mom, and run out the front door and down the sidewalk.
Now I know what any mom is going to say to me. "Wait 'til you have kids!" I know. I can't wait! But while I am I have begun to ponder what I will do. Parenting does not begin when the baby pops out of a pushy mama. Anyone who frowns at a smoking pregnant mama or gawks at a preggo cocktail knows that parenting happens well before the due date.
I would argue, however, that parenting begins even before the pee test. The responsibility of a child is one of life's greatest endeavors and I dare say many Americans take on this conquest without much more thought than what color the nursery will be or what sports records he/she might break in high school.
If you decide to start parenting at birth you will have already missed several months, if not years, of parenting opportunities.
I am thankful for this chance to slow down and take time to "perfect my parenting skills" before the dry run is over and the real deal is upon us. I am working on making regular exercise a consistent habit in my life. I have begun cooking healthy meals at home which rival any local eateries' menu selections. I am reading more and spending more time getting to know my Father. I'm nurturing the most important relationship in my household: my marriage. Let the parenting fun begin! I'm sure, looking back, these will be some of the best times of my life as a parent.
Friday, February 18, 2011
...better than I know myself
"When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, "If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt (where they had been enslaved for 430 years!)." So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. The Israelites went up out of Egypt armed for battle." Exodus 13:17-18
I find the last sentence of this passage amusing. The Israelites are pumped on their recent "victory" against the Egyptians and they're ready to keep it going. They're armed and ready 'cause no one messes with God's peeps!' Did you see what happened to the firstborns in Egypt? Fa' get about it!
The Israelites leave Egypt thinking they're really something. And on one hand they are; they're God's chosen people. But the reality is that their God knows them better then they know themselves. He knows this 'battle' they're armed for would send them running back into the arms of their oppressor if they were to encounter it 'on the road through the Philistine country' (v. 17). God doesn't tell them this (who could handle hearing that ugly truth?) but instead gently leads them in a different direction.
I'm so glad my God knows me like this. Despite my tough attitude and controlling nature he leads me on roads that will draw me closer to him and not send me back to a place of oppression and enslavement. Glad to be loved like this!
I find the last sentence of this passage amusing. The Israelites are pumped on their recent "victory" against the Egyptians and they're ready to keep it going. They're armed and ready 'cause no one messes with God's peeps!' Did you see what happened to the firstborns in Egypt? Fa' get about it!
The Israelites leave Egypt thinking they're really something. And on one hand they are; they're God's chosen people. But the reality is that their God knows them better then they know themselves. He knows this 'battle' they're armed for would send them running back into the arms of their oppressor if they were to encounter it 'on the road through the Philistine country' (v. 17). God doesn't tell them this (who could handle hearing that ugly truth?) but instead gently leads them in a different direction.
I'm so glad my God knows me like this. Despite my tough attitude and controlling nature he leads me on roads that will draw me closer to him and not send me back to a place of oppression and enslavement. Glad to be loved like this!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
What's your back-up plan?
A friend told me not to see the movie but I rented it anyway. For those painstaking two hours I would contemplate why I did not heed her advice. Not all was lost. I was able to remember something great about my back-up plans.
The Back-up Plan stars J-Lo (another reason I should have kept browsing in the video store) as a successful 30-something woman who has not found success in the love department but desperately wants to have children of her own. She decides to "take matters into her own hands" and hires a doctor to inseminate her with her choice donor's goods. This, of course, is her back-up plan to the one she originally designed; the one with dreams of falling in love, getting married, and having kids. Wouldn't you know she falls in love the day after her pee makes a plus sign. What to do when your back-up plan gets in the way of your original plan. Da da da...
So about my back-up plan. After watching the movie I realized that luckily for me I have no back-up plan. Why would anyone need a back-up plan when the original one is perfect? Take matters into my own hands? Scary! Do I know all of the details of the plan. Nope. I don't need to. The engineer who designed said plan is a good friend of mine. He knows me better than I know myself so he'll be sure to include those beautiful touches only an Abba knows how to. Each day is another chance to unveil another part of the masterpiece. How exciting!
But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19
The Back-up Plan stars J-Lo (another reason I should have kept browsing in the video store) as a successful 30-something woman who has not found success in the love department but desperately wants to have children of her own. She decides to "take matters into her own hands" and hires a doctor to inseminate her with her choice donor's goods. This, of course, is her back-up plan to the one she originally designed; the one with dreams of falling in love, getting married, and having kids. Wouldn't you know she falls in love the day after her pee makes a plus sign. What to do when your back-up plan gets in the way of your original plan. Da da da...
So about my back-up plan. After watching the movie I realized that luckily for me I have no back-up plan. Why would anyone need a back-up plan when the original one is perfect? Take matters into my own hands? Scary! Do I know all of the details of the plan. Nope. I don't need to. The engineer who designed said plan is a good friend of mine. He knows me better than I know myself so he'll be sure to include those beautiful touches only an Abba knows how to. Each day is another chance to unveil another part of the masterpiece. How exciting!
But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Birthdays
My husband just celebrated his birthday yesterday. It was a typical thirty-something birthday. After the Big 30 you tend to just want to find ways to hang out with people you like. The what doesn't matter so much as the who.
Reflecting on the day got me to thinking about the meaning of birthdays. My husband's birthday is a very special one to me because it was the day my husband was born. Wow. Deep. Seriously, when I really think about it that day changed my life. I believe the Lord knew on that day that I would spend my life with that person. Fantastic plan.
A birthday is what this nullipara is looking forward to; the birthday of my first born. That day has already been chosen. The Lord knows that on that day his special child will come to spend time with us. So I will be patient for that day, knowing it's going to be worth it all. A happy birthday indeed!
Reflecting on the day got me to thinking about the meaning of birthdays. My husband's birthday is a very special one to me because it was the day my husband was born. Wow. Deep. Seriously, when I really think about it that day changed my life. I believe the Lord knew on that day that I would spend my life with that person. Fantastic plan.
A birthday is what this nullipara is looking forward to; the birthday of my first born. That day has already been chosen. The Lord knows that on that day his special child will come to spend time with us. So I will be patient for that day, knowing it's going to be worth it all. A happy birthday indeed!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Energy Drink
Energy drinks are scary to me. As a child my mom was sure to steer me clear of sugar laced foods and drinks in fear of...Mama Mia! Five Fruit Loops and I could make Speedy Gonzales look like a slow-mo replay. This is probably why I have done my best to avoid the Bull and shied away from ever becoming a Rock Star.
But boy did I ever chug an energy drink this morning. The studio I used to work at is closing down this month so last night they planned a kind of a last hoorah/party for the new moon. I was not aware that moon parties went until the wee hours in the morning. (Rookie Moon Rocker, I guess) I rolled into my drive way around 2:15am.
For me the anticipation of getting home and getting into my bed followed me the whole night as I watched the locals boogie their way around the yoga studio. When I opened the front door I had a sense of victory at my accomplishment of attaining my goal...GET HOME. Naturally this jazzed me up. I won! With this new found energy I had no choice but to catch up with Bob and Jillian and watch the latest episode of BL.
Wouldn't you know it! I finally got tired around 4am. Now I LOVE my ladies' Bible study group and look forward to it every week. I did not love that ladies' Bible study was slated to begin in less than 5 hours from the time my head hit the pillow. If anyone knows me that is definitely not enough time for Senorita Sleeps-A-Lot. I really wanted to go to the study but I knew in the back of my mind I would make up an excuse when it was time to wake up and just continue doing what I do best...sleep.
Luckily the Lord had something else in mind. My alarm went of at 8am and I could not explain the chipperness running through my veins. I was totally THAT person. You know, the one who delights in sounds of the cock-a-doodle-do. How could this be, you ask? God was my RockStar this morning. He juiced me up so I was ready to go and be with his daughters to study his son. Rock on!
But boy did I ever chug an energy drink this morning. The studio I used to work at is closing down this month so last night they planned a kind of a last hoorah/party for the new moon. I was not aware that moon parties went until the wee hours in the morning. (Rookie Moon Rocker, I guess) I rolled into my drive way around 2:15am.
For me the anticipation of getting home and getting into my bed followed me the whole night as I watched the locals boogie their way around the yoga studio. When I opened the front door I had a sense of victory at my accomplishment of attaining my goal...GET HOME. Naturally this jazzed me up. I won! With this new found energy I had no choice but to catch up with Bob and Jillian and watch the latest episode of BL.
Wouldn't you know it! I finally got tired around 4am. Now I LOVE my ladies' Bible study group and look forward to it every week. I did not love that ladies' Bible study was slated to begin in less than 5 hours from the time my head hit the pillow. If anyone knows me that is definitely not enough time for Senorita Sleeps-A-Lot. I really wanted to go to the study but I knew in the back of my mind I would make up an excuse when it was time to wake up and just continue doing what I do best...sleep.
Luckily the Lord had something else in mind. My alarm went of at 8am and I could not explain the chipperness running through my veins. I was totally THAT person. You know, the one who delights in sounds of the cock-a-doodle-do. How could this be, you ask? God was my RockStar this morning. He juiced me up so I was ready to go and be with his daughters to study his son. Rock on!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
On the ones
So I almost didn't write today because I actually hadn't thought of it until I was cruising around Facebook looking at college friends' profiles. I almost didn't write because I hadn't 'thought it through' yet what I would say but isn't that the best time to try to say something? When you get the thought out of it and put the God into it? So here's what He's said:
Hey, I love you. I made you just the way you are. I put all of these wonderful people in your life not for you to compare yourself to but to see who I am more fully. After all, didn't I make you all in my image? I will give you what is yours in due time. But while you're waiting try to enjoy the things I have sent your way. Hey, I love you.
Hey, I love you. I made you just the way you are. I put all of these wonderful people in your life not for you to compare yourself to but to see who I am more fully. After all, didn't I make you all in my image? I will give you what is yours in due time. But while you're waiting try to enjoy the things I have sent your way. Hey, I love you.
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