I'm smack dab in the middle of watching a great movie called "The Switch." It stars Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman. "Cassie" and "Wallie" are BFFs in their mid-30's who have gone past the dating scene and into the friends' stage. Of course Wallie is in love with Cassie but she has no idea (I'm so sure!) and neither does he. Blah blah blah...she finds a donor, throws a party, gets the turkey baster, and out pops Sabastian.
I was for sure this would be another J-Lo type flop (read post on other movie I wrote about but was so bad I can't remember at this point!) but a very special scene proved a production of tears and another layer of perspective pealed away on my nallipara journey. Sabastian (the son) collects picture frames but does so for the stock pictures that come with the frames. Odd? Yes! Touching. Yes! Once the story is revealed...
Sabastian collects the frames to tell the "story" of his family tree. He doesn't know who his dad is so he uses the pictures to fill in the blanks. His mother has told him that she couldn't wait for him to come so he found a very special person that would give her some seeds so she could plant him in her belly. Cute story to us adults but a tough pill to swallow for a kid who sees loving families all around him and wonders where the other half of his has gone.
How much of our pursuit of children is selfish? My answer: approx. 87% of it. We were not all promised children (If we were, please attach said document in the comments section). This scene showed me some possible repercussions of our "Pursuit of Happiness" in bearing children.
I will remind you that I am smack dab in the middle of this movie (and I'm about to start another cycle..wink, wink) so my emotions are running a bit on the high side. I did, however, think to myself that I should try to write as much as possible during these raw moments to see if any good can come of it. I think so!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
15 Things to do Before you have kids
1. Go on a wine tasting tour at a vineyard.
2. Go skydiving/bungee jumping/swimming with sharks...or whatever other crazy thing life-risking thing you've got on your bucket list.
3. Make a list of all the restaurants and bars you've been meaning to check out- and go!
4. Appreciate the bathroom-alone.
5. Stop being so self-righteous.
6. Take a road trip.
7. Be spontaneous.
8. Spend an entire day in bed together watching movies.
9. Have boozy lunches with friends.
10. Feed your minimalist side. (white chair/red wine)
11. Have morning sex.
12. Be the last ones to leave the party.
13. Fly first class.
14. Wear as much silk, cashmere, dry-clean only clothing as you possibly can, while you still can.
15. Take a career risk.
Erin Zammett Ruddy offers these "fine" tips on theknot.com for all the nulliparas out there dreaming of having children. I was actually excited when I got the email linking me to the article. I was thinking this would be a great opportunity to do one of the things I LOVE to do...check things off a ToDo list. It seemed like another opportunity to look on the bright side of things. The first few seemed lighthearted and doable (although I don't really have a desire to do anything crazy or life-risking). But as the list went on I grew more and more angry with its wordsmith. She no longer seemed to be giving a fun ToDo list for us pre-baby folk. She was mocking me. "Stop being self-righteous" "Appreciate the bathroom-alone" "Have morning sex" This article was not an opportunity to help moms-to-be appreciate this special time before children. It was a way for her to vent some of the frustrations of motherhood. Wow! Pretty insensitive, if you ask me. There are a few things I'd like to tell her and some other moms (not all of them, of course) to reveal my observations of "the other side."
I thank you Mrs. Ruddy (I assume you are married with your infinite knowledge on all things pre-birth!) You have inspired me to create a list of my own.
15 things to do AFTER you have kids.
I will use my experience with the AMAZING moms I am privileged to call friends as well as the numerous encounters with less than desirable parenting I've been able to observe (for my own notes, not for self-righteous critique!) The list is forthcoming and will be posted upon completion. Please feel free to post suggestions to be added to the list!
2. Go skydiving/bungee jumping/swimming with sharks...or whatever other crazy thing life-risking thing you've got on your bucket list.
3. Make a list of all the restaurants and bars you've been meaning to check out- and go!
4. Appreciate the bathroom-alone.
5. Stop being so self-righteous.
6. Take a road trip.
7. Be spontaneous.
8. Spend an entire day in bed together watching movies.
9. Have boozy lunches with friends.
10. Feed your minimalist side. (white chair/red wine)
11. Have morning sex.
12. Be the last ones to leave the party.
13. Fly first class.
14. Wear as much silk, cashmere, dry-clean only clothing as you possibly can, while you still can.
15. Take a career risk.
Erin Zammett Ruddy offers these "fine" tips on theknot.com for all the nulliparas out there dreaming of having children. I was actually excited when I got the email linking me to the article. I was thinking this would be a great opportunity to do one of the things I LOVE to do...check things off a ToDo list. It seemed like another opportunity to look on the bright side of things. The first few seemed lighthearted and doable (although I don't really have a desire to do anything crazy or life-risking). But as the list went on I grew more and more angry with its wordsmith. She no longer seemed to be giving a fun ToDo list for us pre-baby folk. She was mocking me. "Stop being self-righteous" "Appreciate the bathroom-alone" "Have morning sex" This article was not an opportunity to help moms-to-be appreciate this special time before children. It was a way for her to vent some of the frustrations of motherhood. Wow! Pretty insensitive, if you ask me. There are a few things I'd like to tell her and some other moms (not all of them, of course) to reveal my observations of "the other side."
I thank you Mrs. Ruddy (I assume you are married with your infinite knowledge on all things pre-birth!) You have inspired me to create a list of my own.
15 things to do AFTER you have kids.
I will use my experience with the AMAZING moms I am privileged to call friends as well as the numerous encounters with less than desirable parenting I've been able to observe (for my own notes, not for self-righteous critique!) The list is forthcoming and will be posted upon completion. Please feel free to post suggestions to be added to the list!
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