I find myself very surprised that I am looking at a screen waiting to receive words to be published on the world wide web. I have decided to start a blog. Well, I should rephrase that. The Lord decided to equip me with what I will need to have a blog. Let's see if I can explain...
For some reason, I have always had the idea that I wanted to write a book. There really isn't anything in my past that would prove me able to do this...I hated English class in high school, I'm the worst speller in the world (I know there's spell check, but I needed another excuse), and I've had plenty of "great ideas" that I began but never finished. Still, the desire remained.
But what do I know? No really, what do I know that I would write about. I'm pretty sure most people who want to write a book have the topic first and the desire second. Not me! I've never really felt like an expert on anything; still don't. Good thing I have the expert of al things as my manager/editor/publisher. I can explain that, too.
I am currently part of a women's Bible study in which we are looking at David. The study and the women I'm studying with are rockin' my face off! I'm learning and seeing some incredible things the Lord has done for so many people and as usual I was sitting back, thinking "Wow! How cool. Look at what those people are able to do. Great." But this time the Lord had something to say back to me. "Hey Kate. It's not about them. It's about Me. I do all that. I want to do that with you." Remember all of those excuses at the beginning of this post? Well, there were many more, mostly involving my insecurities and lack of esteem for myself. The Lord said, "Perfect! I'll take them."
So here we go....
Nullipara...for now. The word came from a game of Balderdash. For those of you who don't know, Balderdash is a game where one person reads a word and the rest of the players try to come up with the best made-up definition they can so others will believe what they wrote. I was the reader and got this word, nullipara, which means "a woman who has never borne a child." Interesting word for me to get, a 31 year old woman trying to get pregnant in a world full of scare tactics for people in my place in life. I know this because when I first read the definition I thought "Oh no. That's me. I'll never have a child." But after I took a minute to breathe as the others were snickering about their genius definitions I reread what it meant. It said "has never" not "will never." Big difference.
I proudly write this blog as a nullipara...for now. I will be writing about this precious time before I am blessed with children of my own. I will share encouraging words along with the tough times that come with this season of waiting. I am thankful for this day of reflection and love and for each day that follows. Thanks for joining me on this journey!
You are certainly not alone. I love that you are doing this, your words are beautiful. You will make an amazing mother and will be such a blessing to your kids, as well as all those who read this blog.
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